As I type each excruciating letter, I am slowly dying. I have been mortally wounded and my return from the river styx is unlikely. I only have a brief time before I meet my demise, but its vital I tell my story, however brief it may be.
Tonight, I went to the Cubs game. It was awesome. Sadly, Alfonso Soriano, fan favorite for his on-field antics as well as his decent baseball talent was lost for 6 weeks after getting beaned in the hand and breaking it.*
*Side note: from our awesome seats in the first row of upper deck behind homeplate, we also got to witness two dudes get absolutely annihilated in the head by hard-hit foul balls. Baseball games are risky places.
Artist's Rendering"Why did you wear them?" you ask.
"Cause I hate you," I responded, where "you" represents the universal you.
I stepped on a piece of glass! I can only assume someone (likely of the temperance movement trying to stop my beer featured blog...DAMN YOU FRANCIS WILLARD YOU WHORE!") planted it there to ruin me from my mission.
I'm losing blood fast, so I leave you with my final thoughts:
- I love baseball.
- Soto should hit more home runs.
- Bitches and pop tarts.
- Erin Andrews was at this game. She was wearing a Big Birdesque yellow dress and gold (GOLD) shoes (that comment brought to you by Perez Hilton, about whom Jeff was seriously concerned it's parent's named it Perez). She was also ridiculously hot, and concerned about her hair. If I had a fancy camera, and lots of pictures of her, I'd share it with you, cause I'm not a little bitch. UPDATED WITH VIDEO (Our convo was much creepier)
- A Sonic commerical just came on featuring two women in a car inquiring "do you want some fries with that shake." TWO women? Since when did Sonic think that two women, without a single dude, were funny? If they keep this too long, their cycles will sync up, and that's just dangerous. (Right after I finish typing that, the ONE thing less funny than two women comes on TV: Carlos Mencia) (Googling "mexican sleeping" yields plenty o' results)
- Jessie Jackson was below us at the baseball game. It was kinda cool. He was guarded by Sinbad. Man, how far he has fallen. (50% of those last sentences were true).
Play find Jessie! (Hint: 2nd Row from Top, 5 over)Ed Note: Beer provided to make post topical.
Thumbs up provided to appease Erin S.
- I absolutely have to confess my love for Cfdsafjsahdjfhajfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
1 comment:
Wrigley is quickly becoming a dangerous place for people to walk. First Jair injures himself leaving the ballpark (which the game announcers blamed on the Cubs for intentionally not doing any renovations to the visitors dugout or clubhouse area). Cheaters! And now Reedy is hurt, which is an even more devastating pitching loss than Jair to any softball teams.
Almost as importantly, how can a recap of that game night not include CORKY MILLER. The man hit a home run. That home run raised his average to .091. It tripled his season RBI total. It was his 2nd home run since 2003. Trust me... i read it, IN A BOOK. Well, a website. http://www.baseball-reference.com/m/milleco01.shtml
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